Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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