remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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