We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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