Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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