$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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