just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
