Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
