I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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