Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize