Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
They should really pass out barf bags in church
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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