Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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