she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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