Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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