4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize