I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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