just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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