I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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