once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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