oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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