Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
