It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
