Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Then you guys just all showered together...?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
