Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
