I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize