I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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