the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
