If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
