I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
