You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My ATM looks so different sober.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
