Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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