Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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