i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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