dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
