All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
