I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
