I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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