just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize