I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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