she looked like the before picture.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
