All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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