Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
