i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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