no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
