I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
