"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
