I just gift wrapped bread.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My dick has a subreddit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
