I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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