Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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