Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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