First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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