You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
