his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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