eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
