Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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