man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
