Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
