Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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