i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
