Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
