just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
