I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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