That's intense
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
