I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
