What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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